Becoming a U.S citizen last November was a monumental moment not just for my own personal life, but for my whole family, including those who are still in Mexico. Having American citizenship has not changed the fact that I identify as Mexican, or negates the struggles that I grew up facing as an immigrant growing up in the U.S. Instead, it has provided me freedom, safety, and the beautiful ability of being able to travel back to my place of birth for the first time and reunite with my family, who has only grown bigger. And most importantly, the gift of holding my grandmother’s hands in mine again. 

“Today, cooking is an irreplaceable part of my life. It’s a meditation, a way to ease back into myself after a busy day.”

How did you learn to cook and what made you realize cooking was something you were passionate about?

In Mexico, cooking is an act of feeling rather than a methodical process of following a recipe. I loved being in the kitchen as a little kid, and watching my mother cook. It was like a dance, I remember the movements of her hands as she mixed, flipped and sizzled. We never had measuring spoons at home, my mom taught me that the best tasting dishes were the ones you invented and poured yourself into.

The first thing I ever learned to cook was two scrambled eggs with ham, a very typical Mexican breakfast. I learned this dish simply by watching my nanny and mother make it for my sister and I almost every morning. The ritual of making this dish, is something that still brings me back to the watermelon themed kitchen I grew up eating in. 

In college, I missed my mother’s cooking more than anything in the world. However, I was so busy with school and part-time work that most of my meals consisted of pizza by the slice and an unimaginable amount of coffee. I felt disjointed from my body, identity and my family. Years later, after separating from my ex-husband, I found myself living alone for the first time. As a way to heal, I  began cooking the dishes that I remembered from my childhood. This is where I realized cooking was beyond just something I needed to do, it was a way to reconnect to my body, and a path back to my Mexican heritage. Today, cooking is an irreplaceable part of my life. When I cook, I can only see as far as the onion I am chopping. It’s a form of meditation, a way to relax and ease back into myself after a busy day. And there is nothing better than knowing what is in your food, or cooking something delicious for someone you love and care about.

What is a recipe or dish that holds a meaningful memory for you?

Chiles rellenos will always hold a special place in my heart. I used to beg my mom to make them for me. A seamlessly simple dish can be time consuming, especially if you are making it alone, so it was usually something my mom reserved for special occasions. Because it was my favorite, she always made it for my birthday. I remember looking forward to that delicious melting cheese inside a perfectly roasted poblano chile more than even cake or presents.